Lately...

Well recently...lately...me and Mister broke up...got back together...he got picked up by MP's...moved to 29 Palms in California...had a friend go AWOL...



Okay now to explain. His friend thought it'd be so much fun to text me when they were drunk and try to get me to cheat on him...And I failed the "test" so he was like "I'm breaking up with you." And of course I was like omg...wtf...But its all good now, although I'm not gonna lie, a little bit has changed in our relationship, and I don't know why. Well i guess I do, but still. He should not have had his friend do that, and he realizes this, and he's said he'll make up for it, so we shall see...

He got picked up by MP's because him and his friend got drunk, thrown out of a bar, into an argument with the cab driver, and then Mister threw up in the cab. So him and his friend got picked up, Mister got put on Admin Hold, and as far as I know his friend went AWOL. Good riddance is all I have to say. Because that joker was exactly that, a joker, not mature enough to be in the Marine Corps, and still wet behind the ears in training. He should have stuck around and taken his punishment like a man, they way my Marine did. :)

He moved to 29 Palms about two weeks ago today. I'm frankly numb. I can't believe he's so far away, and on top of that we can't really talk during the week, so there goes that communication. We talk a bit on the weekends, but the 4 hour time difference is making it so hard. Last Saturday, I waited all day for him to text ,and at about 6:30 finally texted him and he had just woken up, and I was like this is not gonna work...but of course didn't say it, because then he'd think I wanna break up with him, which I most definitely do not.

He always thinks I wanna break up with him for no reason and it breaks my heart that he would think that I'd give up on him just like that. When I say i love someone I darn well mean it and he needs to get that through his head, because come hell or high water we'll always be together if I have anything to say about it. And there isn't anything he can do in this world to change that. And maybe that makes me stupid, and too in love but its the truth. He could kill someone and i'd still love him...

The things we do...

The things we do for those we love are ridiculous. We lie, we cheat, we steal, and some even die. What is the point if that person doesn't love us back? Oh, they say they do, and they make all the right grand gestures and use every right word, but does anyone over love another person fully and unconditionally? Humans in nature are very selfish beings, we think of ourselves, what can I get out of this, how will this work in my favor, can I turn this in my favor? How will this affect ME ME ME? In believing this, how can we truly believe that we love someone, and how can we open up ourselves enought to believe, truly, that they love us in return?

We love our mothers, they brought us into this world, and they, along with a father, give us love, shelter, food, clothing, and a few creature comforts. Even this can be a selfish kind of love. How many times have people complained about their parents? Mom won't buy me this, Dad won't give me the money for that. But on the other hand, our parents love us unconditionally, and without fail always have our backs. Even when we've drug them through the mud and turmoil that is our teenage years. I'm still a teenager myself, and sometimes I think about my present behavior, and my past, and I cringe, because I'm a bitch to my parents. And for that I am truly sorry. All they have ever done is love me, and they have always been in my corner, even when I was ass backwards wrong.

We say we love our boyfriends, and girlfriends, but when it comes down to it, could we really be there for them when it counts? Because let's face it, kids my age are in lust, not love, and we have no concept of what love really is. We think it's holding hands walking down the hall, meeting after each class to give a quick hug, and maybe a kiss on the cheek. We don't realize that to love someone, truly love them ,we have to make ourselves completely vulnerable, and trust in the person that they will not break us. But we can't. Because human beings are scared in addition to selfish.

To love someone completely is accepting that they're not perfect, and they will make us mad, and on occassion we will want to beat them senseless because they are being so incredibly stupid that it makes you want to hide under a table. But it also means that you lie to them, you cheat for them ,and you steal for them. It means that you accept they imperfections and understand that all of the little quirks, the little oddities that make them up make them utterly and absolutely perfect.

You accept that they're going to California for 3 years, and you move past that. You say damn so whats up. You tell them no im okay with it, really. Yeah, of course I understand, it's just your life now, so let's get used to it. You lie to yourself, and eventually you start to believe it, just a little, and one day you'll forget that you didn't. You don't let on about the nights and days you go by held together by a thread, and you don't tell them about the one tear that can break a dam. You lie. Because it helps them. That is love, and it is hard, and sucks, and its life.

Personality types

OMG this thing is scary accurate, take the test and comment on what you got!! I'll post a couple links that describe mine, I got ENFP


http://www.humanmetrics.com/cgi-win/JTypes2.asp

http://typelogic.com/enfp.html

http://keirsey.com/handler.aspx?s=keirsey&f=fourtemps&tab=3&c=champion

Toodles!