Wednesday, July 8, 2009

VENT (none of this means that I dont love my friends with all of my heart, but this is my place to vent so i dont take it out on other ppl)

I really hate it when I try to be friends with people, and I think they're my best friend and then they say stuff like I feel like I dont have any friends...when they're the ones that don't tell anybody anything and they're the ones that WON'T tell anybody anything, and they put on a poor pitiful me act, that just pisses me off so bad that I want to beat them. I hate when my friends act like nobody likes them. They just conviently forget about the one friends that they do have...ahem me...and they go off on a poor pitiful me act!!!!! AGH!!!!!!!!! Frick!!!!! I just don't understand the mentality of some of the people I know. When somebody tries to get you to talk to them when you just listen to your iPod all of the time, DO NOT SAY THAT NOTHING IS WRONG WITH YOU BECAUSE THERE OBVIOUSLY IS. You know what? I'm tired of caring, it's just too hard. I'm not gonna reach out anymore, it just bites me in the back, and I care too much to be hurt again. THIS DOES NOT MEAN THAT I DONT WANT TO HEAR ABOUT WHATS WRONG WITH YOU OR THAT I DONT CARE BUT I'M NOT GONNA STRAIGHT UP ASK ANYMORE BECAUSE NOBODY FEELS LIKE SAYING ANYTHING. I'm tired of getting jumped by the two people who I thought were my best friends, and being told that I care too much about what other people think when all I do is try to care about other people, I'm sorry that other people don't feel like being a bench at that time. STOP TAKING YOUR OTHER PROBLEMS OUT ON OTHER PEOPLE BECAUSE IT DRIVES PEOPLE AWAY AND MAKES YOU SEEM RETARDED. Everybody wonders what is wrong with me and you know what it is????? I keep all of this bottled up because I don't wanna hurt my friends.

And another thing, how come when I care so much about other people that care and concern is NOT returned? Why am I a better friend most of the time than others? I said most becuase of the fact that I am not always a happy happy person and sometimes I bottle unhappy feelings and it comes out on my friends, but really? When I try to tell you my problems when I've sat there and listened to yours, DONT YOU DARE TURN YOUR BACK AND START TALKING ABOUT YOUR DANG PROBLEMS AGAIN.

Oh, one more thing, when you're around me in private, don't be different than you are in public. Don't sit there and get on to me for cussing when you do it all of the time, and act like I'm horrible for it when you've done WAY WORSE THINGS. And nobody appreciates the little God speeches that some people have been giving around here. I believe in God, and He believes in me so how about we DONT have Bible study whenever I say a bad word.

But other than all of that I love my friends and I think that this whole experience has been fun and tiring.