I've been a bad blogger...

How? I haven't actually personally blogged in a while...honestly I don't know what to say. I haven't talked to Mister in 2 weeks, tomorrow makes 2 weeks. Frankly, idk how I feel about this...besides freakin out its like I've become numb, like I care but at a distance. I feel like it has something to do with what I said to him, but then again, his Mama hasn't talked to him either so idk? I just really miss him right now, with so much going on that I can't blog about, just hearing his opinion on everything would be the best thing in the world.

I have so much to say to him all of the time, and I know that the next time I talk to him it's all going to fly out of my head and I'm just going to be so happy to talk to him that nothing else will matter.

I have been a HORRIBLE person lately and I think I need to just take some time and think about everything so texting is probably going to be down to a minimum over the next week or so, unless its him.

I feel kinda bad because the first few days we weren't talking I was blowing up his phone with texts...he's gonna get em and be like MJ wtf...but oh well because...idk what the point of this paragraph was anymore LOL I think I'm going crazy...

I can't wait til he gets leave. Some girls miss sex and all that(kinda hard for me to miss somethin I've never had LOL), but I just miss being with him, sittin beside him watchin tv and laughin at what he says and how he acts. I miss how he would reach over and just grab my hand and hold on tight, like he was drowining and I was a lifeline. When we went to see New Moon I miss how he would just be some at ease with me that he would not think twice if he was tired after doin PT for 4 hours and just fall asleep against my shoulder... Now I recognize the desperation in all of the glances, touches, words, everything that happened when he was home. I realize why he was so serious about everything. I had no idea what I was getting myself into when I said yes to my Marine...