On the other side

On the other side of the emotional wreck that I've been lately I've realized some important things. I am a good person. Just because some people don't feel a need to have me in their lives anymore does not mean that it's my fault. It's not my fault that they just don't want to put forth effort anymore so...oh well.

I got some advice from a new friend who I hope sticks around for awhile because man is she smart lol. She mentioned that if they want you around then they'll make the effort. You shouldn't have to put forth 100% by yourself. And I have to learn what's worth more to me. Do I realy want to be a part of peoples lives when they don't want me? I mean, really?

I am truly thankful for the people that I have in my life right now, this day, at this moment. I have more love and happiness in my life than I know what to do with, now that I've realized all of this. I have my Marine, and really, what more do I need?

On a happier note, look at this poem that my FB friend Nikki Kelly posted on a pic as a comment:

A marine's girlfriend, what can friends say?

I sit by the phone and wait for it to ring.

Terrified and excited by the news it may bring.

The phone doesn't ring, no cards in the mail. There's no one to help me along this trail.

The wives have support on every post. Where are my friends when I need them the most?

Wonderful advice from friends who don't know, about loving a man and watching him go.

"Quit all that moping, it can't be that bad." They don't understand how I could be so sad. "You have the freedome to do as you choose, so why are you trembling as you watch the news?"

I close my eyes and fight the tears. Then take a deep breath to calm all my fears.

He fights for his country and people in need. To free from hatred and greed.

He fights for their lives, yet no one can understand why I miss his smile and the touch of his hand.

He chose his career and I gave him my heart. To have when together and even apart.

I had no idea what he signed on for. How I long for the day he'll walk through the door.

A Marine's girlfriend, standing tall, a cheerful facade shown to one and all.

Shoulders back and head held high. Refusing to let anyone see me cry.

I'm filled with honor, pride and love. Certainly I am blessed from the heavens above.

I'll find the strength to see it through. For in my heart, my love is true.

I honor the vows I will say, sometime in the future on our wedding day.

Until that day comes, I'll sit here alone. Patiently waiting right next to the phone.

The government called and took him away, but in my heart is where he will stay.

I crawl into my bed and turn out the light. Close my eyes and pray he's alright. For my Marine, too far from home, for I again, sleep alone. ♥