VENT (none of this means that I dont love my friends with all of my heart, but this is my place to vent so i dont take it out on other ppl)

I really hate it when I try to be friends with people, and I think they're my best friend and then they say stuff like I feel like I dont have any friends...when they're the ones that don't tell anybody anything and they're the ones that WON'T tell anybody anything, and they put on a poor pitiful me act, that just pisses me off so bad that I want to beat them. I hate when my friends act like nobody likes them. They just conviently forget about the one friends that they do have...ahem me...and they go off on a poor pitiful me act!!!!! AGH!!!!!!!!! Frick!!!!! I just don't understand the mentality of some of the people I know. When somebody tries to get you to talk to them when you just listen to your iPod all of the time, DO NOT SAY THAT NOTHING IS WRONG WITH YOU BECAUSE THERE OBVIOUSLY IS. You know what? I'm tired of caring, it's just too hard. I'm not gonna reach out anymore, it just bites me in the back, and I care too much to be hurt again. THIS DOES NOT MEAN THAT I DONT WANT TO HEAR ABOUT WHATS WRONG WITH YOU OR THAT I DONT CARE BUT I'M NOT GONNA STRAIGHT UP ASK ANYMORE BECAUSE NOBODY FEELS LIKE SAYING ANYTHING. I'm tired of getting jumped by the two people who I thought were my best friends, and being told that I care too much about what other people think when all I do is try to care about other people, I'm sorry that other people don't feel like being a bench at that time. STOP TAKING YOUR OTHER PROBLEMS OUT ON OTHER PEOPLE BECAUSE IT DRIVES PEOPLE AWAY AND MAKES YOU SEEM RETARDED. Everybody wonders what is wrong with me and you know what it is????? I keep all of this bottled up because I don't wanna hurt my friends.


And another thing, how come when I care so much about other people that care and concern is NOT returned? Why am I a better friend most of the time than others? I said most becuase of the fact that I am not always a happy happy person and sometimes I bottle unhappy feelings and it comes out on my friends, but really? When I try to tell you my problems when I've sat there and listened to yours, DONT YOU DARE TURN YOUR BACK AND START TALKING ABOUT YOUR DANG PROBLEMS AGAIN.


Oh, one more thing, when you're around me in private, don't be different than you are in public. Don't sit there and get on to me for cussing when you do it all of the time, and act like I'm horrible for it when you've done WAY WORSE THINGS. And nobody appreciates the little God speeches that some people have been giving around here. I believe in God, and He believes in me so how about we DONT have Bible study whenever I say a bad word.


But other than all of that I love my friends and I think that this whole experience has been fun and tiring.

BANDS!!!!

Ok, in my opinion, these bands are the awesomest in the whole entire fricking world, you dont have to agree, just dont down them near me....

omgez slipknot
breaking benjamin
skillet
godsmack
paramore
more later

First week of PCUB summer

OMG it has been totally beyond crazy this week!!! We moved in on Sunday, and that took for freakin ever, and then on monday we got our first taste of college life with classes and everything, and that was....interesting....to say the least. My legs hurt SO much for so long that today, Friday, when I woke up I was like, wow...my legs dont hurt at all!!! I was so stoked, it was crazy. So much drama has been happening between everybody in PCUB that its stupid. Theres rumors about girls being lesbians and liking their roommates...we all need to be apart from each other for the next 2 days to rest and stop bein so tired of each other. Monday everybody was all wantin to make friends and now its kinda like yeah....how bout not...its so STUPID and nobody seems to realize how ridiculous they're being, its kinda sad. Today the most dramatic thing happened of all. There was a big group of guys and they were like harrassing girls horribly, and me and some girls in the program were victims, and we had to go talk to campus police about it, and right as we were leaving, we saw 2 of the guys, it was completely scary, it was freaky. But I've gots to go now, later